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Ατάκες – Season 6 Supernatural

Οι καλύτερες ατάκες από την 6η σεζόν του Supernatural!

Dean:
There’s not much to tell. You know, it’s–I… lived on the road. Took crap jobs that nobody else wanted.

Sid:
Like…?

Dean:
Like… pest control.

Sid:
Really? Pest control.

Dean:
Yeah. Get to work with a partner. You get to help people. You have no idea what’s in some people’s walls. Could eat them alive.


Sid:
Dean! Is that a gun?

Dean:
No! No, yeah. well, I got a permit for it.

Sid:
What, to shoot the Glickmans’ dog?

Dean:
I thought that was a possum. Remember when I said I was in pest control. Well, possums carry rabies, so…

Sid:
Wow. I did not know that.

Dean:
Oh yeah, yeah, possums… possums kill, Sid.


Lisa:
So I just ran into Sid. Did you almost shoot a Yorkie?

Dean:
Technically


Azazel:
Hiya Dean, look what the apocalypse shook loose. [laughs] You have fun sniffing that trail? ‘Cause I sure had fun pattin’ you around.

Dean:
You can’t be…

Azazel:
Oh sure I can.

Dean:
No.

Azazel:
Yeah, kiddo, the big daddy brought your pal Cass back, right? So why not me? Add a little spice to all that… sugar. [Dean shoots him] Really? After all we’ve been through together? You know, you’ve got a great little life here; pretty lady, real understanding… hell of a kid. And how do you keep your lawn so green? I mean, come on, Dean! You never been what I’d call «brainy», but did you really think you were gonna get to keep all of this? You had to know that we were comin’ for you sometime, pal. You can’t outrun your past.


Dean:
Sammy?

Sam:
Yeah, it’s me.

[They hug each other]

Dean:
Wait a minute, wait a minute. You… you… you were… you were gone man! That… That was it, how the hell you’re…

Sam:
I don’t know.

Dean:
What did you mean, you don’t know?

Sam:
I mean no idea. I’m just back.

Dean:
Was it God? Or… or Cas? Did Cas know anything about it?

Sam:
You tell me, I been calling, Cas didn’t answer my prayers. I don’t even know where he is.


Sam:
You finally had what you wanted Dean.

Dean:
I wanted my brother! Alive!

Sam:
You wanted a family. You have for a long time. Maybe the whole time. I know you. You only gave it up because of the way we lived. You had something. You were building something. Had I shown up Dean, you would’ve just run off.


Gwen:
My God, you have delicate features for a hunter.


Bobby:
Maybe you want to go upstairs. The TV’s broken but there’s plenty of Reader’s Digests. Just don’t touch the decor, okay? Assume it’s all loaded.


Dean:
Do you have any clue what walking away meant for me?

Bobby:
Yeah, a woman and a kid… and not getting your guts ripped out at age 30. That’s what it meant.

Dean:
That woman and that kid, I went to them because you asked me to.

Bobby:
Good.

Dean:
Good for who? I showed up on their doorstep half out of my head with grief. God knows why they even let me in. I drank too much, I had nightmares. I looked everywhere. I collected hundreds of books trying to find anything to bust you out.

Sam:
You promised you’d leave it alone.

Dean:
Of course, I didn’t leave it alone! Sue me!


Lisa:
You’re an idiot. I mean, I know it wasn’t greeting-card perfect, but we were in it together.

Dean:
I was a wreck half the time.

Lisa:
Yeah, well, the guy that basically just saved the world shows up at your door, you expect him to have a couple of issues.


Samuel:
Nice house.

Dean:
Oh yeah, go ahead, say it, call me a soccer mom, whatever.

Samuel:
«Soccer mom,» huh. I’ll have to look that up on the «Intranet».


Dean:
Maybe I shouldn’t go.

Lisa:
It’s okay. You want to go, so go.

Dean:
You know what, Sam can handle this.

Lisa:
Dean, no offense, but if you don’t walk out that door, I’m going to shoot you.


Sam:
Seatbelt.

Dean:
What am I, in third grade? A car should drive, not be a little bitch.

Sam:
Dean, make it stop.

Dean:
How?

Sam:
Everyone’s staring at us like we’re child abusers! Feed it!

Dean:
We fed it!

Sam:
Then what?

Dean:
I don’t know. You think I speak baby? Maybe he needs a diaper change.

Sam:
Oh God, I hope not.


Dean:
[after Sam has killed a shape shifter in their motel room] Well, there goes our deposit.


Dean:
You want to bring it to a bunch of hunters.

Sam:
Not just hunters, Dean. They’re our family.

Dean:
We don’t know them.

Sam:
I do. Not every hunter is a head case. I mean, Samuel is actually a lot like you.

Dean:
I’m a freaking head case.


Samuel:
Congrats. It’s a boy… sometimes.


Lisa:
The one thing that I do know is that you’re not a construction worker. You’re a hunter. And now you know your brother’s out there, things are different. You don’t want to be here, Dean.

Dean:
Yes, I do.

Lisa:
Okay. Okay, but, but you also want to be there. I get it. You’re white-knuckling it living like this. Like what you are is some bad, awful thing. But you’re not. But I’m not going to have this discussion every time you leave. And this is… this is just going to keep happening, so… I need you to go.


Sam:
Were you racing me?

Dean:
No. I was kicking your ass.

Sam:
Very mature.


Dean:
We should call Cas.

Sam:
You kidding, right?… Dean, I tried. It was the first and second and third thing I did as soon I get topside. Son of the bitch won’t answer the phone!

Dean:
Well, let’s give it a shot. Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray to Castiel to get his feathery ass down here.

Sam:
You’re an idiot.

Dean:
Stay positive.

Sam:
Oh, I am positive.

Dean:
C’mon, Cas. Don’t be a dick. We got ourselves a… plague-like situation down here. Do you…Do you copy? [Nothing happens]

Sam:
Like I said, the son of the bitch doesn’t answer. [Castiel appears behind Sam, Dean sees him] He’s right behind me, isn’t he?

Castiel:
Hello.


Sam:
[to Cas] So what you- you like him better or something?

Castiel:
Dean and I do share a more profound bond. I wasn’t going to mention it.


Castiel:
You think I came because you called? I came because of this.

Dean:
Oh, well, it’s nice to know what matters.

Castiel:
It does help one to focus.


Cas:
I think we can rule Moses out as a suspect.


Castiel:
Sam, Dean, my «people skills» are «rusty.» Pardon me, but I have spent the last «year» as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent.


Dean:
I don’t know who’s on first, what’s on second.

Castiel:
What is second?

Dean:
Don’t start that.


Balthazar:
Holy fire. You hairless ape! Release me!

Dean:
First you’re taking your marker off of Aaron Birch’s soul.

Balthazar:
Am I?

Dean:
Sam!

Sam:
Unless you like your wings extra crispy, I’d think about it.

Balthazar:
Castiel, I stood for you in Heaven. Are you gonna let these two-

Castiel:
I believe the hairless ape has the floor.


Crowley:
That swan dive of Sam’s was a thing of beauty. Tens all the way around. Standing «o» from the Romanian judge. You should be proud, Bobby. As deaths go, it wasn’t too shabby.


Bobby:
Dean, I’m a little busy.

Dean:
Well then kick Bo Derek out of your bathtub. We got a case, here.


Marcy:
I love scary movies. Hey, have you seen Drag Me to Hell?

Bobby:
Trying to avoid it.


Agent Adams:
Have you seen this man, Rufus Turner AKA Luther Vandros AKA Ruben Studdard.

Bobby:
No. Never seen that dick.

Agent Adams:
How do you know he’s a dick?

Bobby:
Lucky guess.


Agent Adams:
I just want to take a look around.

Bobby:
You got a warrant, sonny?

Agent Adams:
Well, do I need one, sir?

Sheriff Mills:
Okay, fellas, put the rulers away, zip up.


Bobby:
Why’d you send him outside?

Sheriff Mills:
Because I didn’t think you’d want him in here.

Bobby:
I don’t. I’ve got a body in the basement.

Sheriff Mills:
My point.

Bobby:
Yeah, but I’ve got another body buried in the yard.


Marcy:
Bobby, I am trying to keep my cool here, but what are you doing in my house with a shotgun?

Bobby:
Have you seen anything weird?

Marcy:
You mean besides you?


Rufus:
You’re still alive, huh?

Bobby:
Don’t act so surprised.


Rufus:
So you just happened to have a bamboo dagger blessed by a Shinto priest laying around.

Bobby:
Wood chipper.

Rufus:
Oh… okie dokie, wood chipper. That-that pretty much trumps…everything.


Bobby:
Sam, Dean, I love you like my own. I do. But sometimes… sometimes you two are the whiniest, most self-absorbed sons of bitches I ever met. I’m selfish? Me? I do everything for you. Everything! You need some lore scrounged up, you need your asses pulled out of the fire, you need someone to bitch to about each other. You call me, and I come through. Every damn time! And what do I get for it? Jack with a side of squat!

Dean:
Bobby…

Bobby:
Do I sound like I’m done? Now look, I know you got issues. God knows, I know. But I got a news flash for you. You ain’t the center of the universe! Now it may have slipped your minds that Crowley owns my soul, and the meter is running. And I will be damned if I’m going to sit around and… and be damned! So how about you two sack up and help me for once?


Crowley:
I thought when I got the corner office, it was all going to be rainbows and two-headed puppies. But if I’m being honest, it’s been hell.

Bobby:
I thought that was the point.

Crowley:
You know what the problem with demons is?

Bobby:
They’re demons?

Crowley:
Exactly. Evil, lying prats, the whole lot of them. They’re stupid. You try to show them a new way, a better way, and what do you get? Bugger all! You know, there’s days that I think Lucifer’s whole «spike anything with black eyes» plan wasn’t half bad. Hpph. Feels good to get it off my chest. We should make this a thing.

Bobby:
Do I look like Dr. Phil to you?

Crowley:
A little.


Crowley:
I’ll do the shorthand for you. (as Bobby) I want my soul back, idjit! (as himself) Afraid not. (as Bobby) But I’m surly and I got a beard. Gimme! (as himself) Blah blah blah. Homespun, cornpone insult. Witty retort from yours truly. The bottom line is, you get bupkis.


Bobby:
Now, you may be king of the dirtbags here, but in life, you were nothing but a two-bit tailor who sold his soul in exchange for an extra three inches below the belt.

Crowley:
Just trying to hit double digits.


Dean:
Did you really used to wear a skirt?

Crowley:
A kilt. I had very athletic calves.


Crowley:
I believe those are mine.

Dean:
You know, now that I think about it, maybe I’ll just napalm your ass anyhow.

Sam:
Dean. He’s a dick, but a deal’s a deal.

Crowley:
I don’t need you to fight my battles for me, moose. Get bent.


Dean:
These aren’t vampires, man. These… these are douchebags.


Dean:
He’s watching her sleep, how is that not rapey?


Dean:
«He could hear the blood rushing inside her. Almost taste it. He tried desperately to control himself. Romero knew their love was impossible.» Romero? Really?

Sam:
Dean, shut up.

Dean:
This is a national best-seller. How is that possible?


Sam:
Where are you going?

Dean:
Bathroom, okay? Newsflash, Mr. Wizard: vampires pee!


Dean:
Oh, God, I’m Pattinson.


Boris:
These are the best days in the last six hundred years to be a vampire. Dracula, Anne Rice, please. These stupid little brats are so horny, they’ve reinvented us as Prince Charming with a Volvo. They want a promise ring with fangs, so I give it to them.


Dean:
You gotta figure out what the hell [Sam] is and fast.

Bobby:
I’m trying. But, Dean, there’s a worst case scenario.

Dean:
What, Satan’s my co-pilot? Yeah, I know.

Bobby:
Well, that’d be the other worst case.

Dean:
Well, then what?

Bobby:
Maybe it’s just Sam.


Sam:
A dentist drilled a guy to death.

Dean:
You mean the non-sexy kind of drilling, right?


Woman in Bar:
I’m sitting like this so you’ll look at my breasts. I just bought them. I need a lot of attention.

Dean:
Good luck with that.


Bobby:
Tori Spelling. I’m a huge fan. Girl’s a real talent.

Dean:
I guess it does work over the phone.

Bobby:
You know what else? I get a pedicure once and a while at this nice Vietnamese joint.

Dean:
Okay, please stop.

Bobby:
This one girl, Nhung Phuong, name means «velvet phoenix.» Tiny thing, but the grip on her! She starts on my toes and I feel like I am gonna –

Dean:
Whoa, whoa, come on, man. Now I’m scarred for life! Thank you.


Dean:
And that’s –

Sam:
Dog’s blood.

Dean:
Do I even want to know where you got that?

Sam:
Probably not.


Dean:
I told myself I wanted out. That I wanted a family.

Veritas:
But you were lying.

Dean:
No, but what I’m good at is slicing throats. I ain’t a father, I’m a killer. And there’s no changing that, I know that now.


Samuel:
This Castiel? You’re scrawnier than I pictured.

Castiel:
This is a vessel. My true form is approximately the size of your Chrysler Building.

Dean:
All right, all right, quit bragging.


Sam:
So, Samuel didn’t take the bait, so I went with Plan B.

Dean:
We had a Plan B?

Sam:
I fired up the GPS in one of his cell phones. We should be able to track him right to the Alpha.

Dean:
The old man won’t notice?

Sam:
Trust me. He thinks Velcro is big news.


Alpha Vampire:
When your kind first huddled around the fire, I was the thing in the dark. Now you think you can hurt me?

Alpha Vampire:
The thing about souls, if you’ve got one, of course, is they’re predictable. You die, you go up or down. Where do my kind go?

Dean:
All right, enough with the sermon, freak.

Alpha Vampire:
I’m trying to answer the question. Now, when we freaks die, where do we go? Not Heaven, not Hell. So?

Dean:
Legoland?


Dean:
OK, we split up, clear every room. If you get a shot, you take it. It’s not going to kill him, but dude will move a little slower without any kneecaps, and if we make it through this, you, me and Sam are having one hell of a family meeting.


Dean:
Since when do you give a crap about vampires?

Crowley:
Since, uh… what’s today, Friday? Since, let’s see… mind your business.


Dean:
So, what’s so important that you’re the king of Hell’s cabana boy, huh? What’d he offer you? Girls? Money? Hair?


Crowley:
That Bobby Singer? Give him a kiss for me.


Crowley:
Werewolves turning on the full moon. So ’09.


Crime scene tech:
What are the feds doing here?

Sam:
Oh, we’re specialists. They call us in to answer the questions of mouth-breathing dick monkeys.


Crime scene tech:
You do realize these were animal attacks.

Dean:
An animal, out here? You think it came for the sailing?


Dean:
You didn’t sleep. Cause you don’t… sleep.

Sam:
Right.

Dean:
Yeah, that’s not creepy at all.


Sam:
Bag him now?

Dean:
No, we make sure.

Sam:
Really?

Dean:
Before we hand him over to a lifetime of demon rape? Yeah, really.


Sam:
Boy, Cal just doesn’t know when to quit.

Dean:
Three scuzzy bars, one scuzzy strip joint, a chili dog joint, seven or eight nightcaps, and now Scotches in the library. I’m getting cirrhosis just watching this.


Sam:
Roll over, Lucky. Speak.

Lucky:
Go to hell.

Sam:
Already been. Didn’t agree with me.


Marion:
Of course it’s not UFOs. It’s fairies.

Dean:
Fairies? Okay. Well, thank you for your input.

Sam:
What, flying saucers not insane enough for you?

Marion:
What newspaper did you say you work for?

Sam:
Okay, if you want to add glitter to that glue you’re sniffing, that’s fine, but don’t dump your whack-a-doo all over us. We’d rather not step in it.

Dean:
Okay, we’re-we’re done.

Sam:
The only thing you’re missing is a couple dozen cats, sister.

Dean:
Yeah, it’s a-it’s a blood-sugar thing. My apologies.


Dean:
Empathy man, empathy. I mean, the old Sam would have given her some-some wussified, dew-eyed crap.


Dean:
But until we get you back on the soul train, I’ll be your conscience. Okay?

Sam:
So you’re saying you’ll be my Jiminy Cricket.

Dean:
Shut up. But yeah, you freakin’ puppet. That’s exactly what I»m saying.


Dean:
[on the phone] UFO! UFO!

Sam:
Oh. Dude, stop yelling, you’re breaking up. I didn’t catch that last part.

Dean:
Close encounter! Close encounter!

Sam:
Close encounter? What kind? First? Second?

Dean:
They’re after me!

Sam:
Third kind already? Better run, man. I think the fourth kind is a butt thing.

Dean:
Empathy, Sam! Empathy!


Sparrow:
Your brother was abducted?

Sam:
Yeah.

Sparrow:
Oh my God!

Sam:
It’s fine. I mean, I’ve had time to adjust.

Sparrow:
Did it-did it happen when you were kids?

Sam:
No, like half an hour ago.


Sam:
So, you’ve been hunting UFOs for over three decades and you basically have no concrete data and zero workable leads.

Wayne:
Well, I…

Sam:
Have you considered the possibility that you suck at hunting UFOs?


Sparrow:
What were they like?

Dean:
They were grabby, incandescent douche bags. Good night.

Sparrow:
Too soon.


Dean:
And then suddenly I was, uh, I was-I was in a different place. And there were these… beings. And they were-they were too bright to look at, but I could-I could feel them pulling me towards this sort of… table.

Sam:
Probing table?

Dean:
God, don’t say that out loud!


Dean:
I had a close encounter, Sam, and I won.

Sam:
You should take a shower.

Dean:
I should take a shower. I’m gonna, I’m gonna take a shower now.


Sam:
Look. That brings up a question. So, say you got a soul, and you’re on a case. And your brother gets abducted by aliens.

Dean:
Yeah, then you do everything you can to get him back.

Sam:
Right, you do. But, what about when there are no more leads for the night? I mean, are you supposed to just sit there in the dark and suffer? Even when there’s nothing that can be done at that moment?

Dean:
Yes!

Sam:
What?

Dean:
Yes. You sit in the dark and you-you feel the loss.

Sam:
Absolutely. But couldn’t I just do all that and have sex with the hippy chick?

Dean:
No!

Sam:
It’ll be in the dark.


Dean:
Nipples?


Sam:
What the hell was it?

Dean:
It was a… a little, naked lady, okay?

Sam:
It was… a what?

Dean:
It was-it was a little, glowing… hot, naked lady, with nipples, and… she hit me.

Sam:
I’m not supposed to laugh, right? Right, okay, sure.


Marion:
Personally, I think they’re taken to Avalon to service Oberon, king of the fairy.

Sam:
Dean, did you service Oberon, king of the fairies?


Dean:
God, is it on me? I feel like I’ve got the crazy on me.

Sam:
No. You did sit in some glitter, though.

Dean:
Makes me want to believe in UFOs again.


Dean:
Fight the fairies! You fight those fairies! FIGHT THE FAIRIES!


Sam:
Cas, we found something. It-it’s this gold box. Apparently Nazis were after it back in the day. Someone tried to open it and their face melted off. I think its the – ready for this – the Arc of the Convenant. Yeah, so-

Cas:
I’m here Sam. Where is the box?

Sam:
I can’t believe you fell for that! That was the plot of Raiders, idiot.


Sam:
If you don’t help us, I will hunt you down and kill you.

Cas:
Will you, boy? How?

Sam:
I don’t know yet, but I will look until I find out and I don’t sleep.

Cas:
You need help Sam.

Sam:
I need your help.


Cas:
This is very complex. If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she’s done something wrong?

Dean:
You’re watching porn? Why?

Castiel:
It was there.

Dean:
You don’t watch porn in a room full of dudes. And you don’t talk about it. Just turn it off! [Castiel looks down at his lap] Well, now he’s got a boner.


Samuel:
This what you boys do, sit around watching pornos with angels?

Castiel:
We’re not supposed to talk about it.


Meg:
[to Cas] Remember me? I sure remember you, Clarence.

Cas:
[to Dean and Sam] Why are we working with these… abominations?

Meg:
[to Cas] Keep talking dirty, it makes my meatsuit all dewy.


Dean:
Karma’s a bitch, bitch.


Cas:
[After he kisses Meg] I learned that from the pizza man.


Dean:
If you want forgiveness, find a priest.

Samuel:
I just want you to understand.

Dean:
Oh, I understand. That you’re a liar. You talk about putting blood first – which is funny ’cause you sound just like my dad – difference is, he actually did!

Samuel:
I am putting blood first.

Dean:
Oh, give me a break.

Samuel:
Mary is my blood, my daughter! Don’t come at me like I sold you out, Dean. You sold out your own mother! It was her or Sam and you chose Sam, plain and simple.

Dean:
Oh, that is such crap. You wanna know what really happened? You chose a demon over your own grandsons!

Samuel:
See it how you want. I don’t even know what Sam is. And you want me to protect him? And you? You’re a stranger. No, really, tell me – what exactly are you supposed to be to me?

Dean:
I’ll tell you who I am. I’m the guy you never wanna see again. ‘Cause I’ll make it out of here, trust me. And the next time you see me, I’ll be there to kill you.

Samuel:
Don’t think there’s gonna be a next time.

Dean:
Whatever gets you though the night.


Cas:
Leave them alone.

Crowley:
Castiel. Haven’t seen you all season. You’re the cavalry now?

Cas:
Put the knife down.

Crowley:
You that bossy in heaven?


Sam:
I need your help, Balthazar.

Balthazar:
Interesting. Since last time we met you wanted to… what was it? Oh yes, yes… fry my wings extra crispy.

Sam:
Well, that was a misunderstanding.

Balthazar:
Some misunderstanding!

Sam:
I need some advice.

Balthazar:
Advice?

Sam:
Angel advice.

Balthazar:
Then go ask your boyfriend.

Sam:
Cas can’t help me.


Dead Guy:
(after dying from a heart attack) Why?

Dean:
You think maybe it was the extra cheese?

Dead Guy:
Yeah… It was good though.


Bobby:
[as Sam chops down the door] Don’t say «Here’s Johnny!»


Bobby:
You want to explain what this is about?

Sam:
I just, uh, I have to do this, Bobby.

Bobby:
Says who?

Sam:
When Dean shoves that soul back in me, think how bad that could really be. I can’t let it happen, Bobby. I mean it’s not like I want to kill you, you’ve been nothing but good to me.

Bobby:
So what, demon deal or somethin’?

Sam:
Spell.

Bobby:
You’re makin’ a mistake, Sam.

Sam:
I’m trying to survive.

Bobby:
Dean’s got a way to make it safe.

Sam:
Oh, yeah, what some wall inside my head that maybe stays up? Come on.

Bobby:
If it works…

Sam:
Well, what if it doesn’t? Dean doesn’t care about me. He – he just cares about his little brother, Sammy, burning in Hell. He’ll kill me to get that other guy back.

Bobby:
Look, I… I know how scary it is. You know what’s scarier? You right now. You’re not in your right head Sam. You’re not giving us much choice here.


Death:
Today, you got a hard look behind the curtain. Wrecking the natural order’s not quite such fun when you have to mop up the mess, is it? This is hard for you, Dean. You throw away your life because you’ve come to assume that it’ll bounce right back into your lap. But the human soul is not a rubber ball. It’s vulnerable, impermanent, but stronger than you know. And more valuable than you can imagine. So, I think you’ve learned something today.


Death:
[returning Sam’s soul to him] Now Sam, I’m going to put up a barrier inside your mind… You might feel a little itchy. Do me a favor… don’t scratch the wall. Because, trust me, you’re not going to like what happens.


Dean:
(to Bobby) Why the poop face?


Dean:
(while reading Penny’s diary) I’ve decided I’m going to give Stan my most precious gift…

Sam:
Wow, that sounded really creepy coming out of your mouth.

Dean:
I think I delivered it.


Dean:
I prefer ladies with experience


Sam:
So what kind of thing likes virgins and gold?

Dean:
P. Diddy?


Dean:
(to the rock as he’s trying to get the sword out) You rocks think you’re so smart.

Dean:
One of dad’s rules? You never use the same crapper twice.

Sam:
Everyone uses the same crapper twice.

Dean:
Not us… You know what I mean.


Dean:
(leaving a voicemail for Sam) I found the connection between the missing chicks. They all banged the same dude. You.


Dean:
My spidey senses are tingling.


Dean:
Sam, you-you gotta understand that all that crap last year, all of it, none of it was you.

Sam:
Let’s be crystal clear, okay? It was me.

Dean:
(walks away) Can I get you anything?

Sam:
What are you now, my waitress?

Dean:
I’m just trying to make you feel better, don’t be a bitch.

Sam:
Yeah, I’m fine.

Dean:
(sarcastic) Yeah, you look fine. (serious) All I’m saying is everything’s gonna be okay.

Sam:
I don’t know Dean, if I did this here, then who knows how many oth- (Sam falls to the floor in a violent seizure)

Dean:
Sammy? Sam?! Sammy, talk to me!

(Sam has a flash back to his soul burning and screaming in Hell)


Dean:
How do you feel?

Sam:
Like I got hit by a… planet.


Sam:
How long was I out again?

Dean:
I’m tellin’ you, like two or three minutes. Why, what’d it feel like to you?

Sam:
’bout a week. give or take.


Dean:
None of this «it’s just a flesh wound» crap.


Sam:
Dean, I might have done…who knows what. And you want me to just forget about it?

Dean:
You shove it down, and you let it come out in spurts of violence and alcoholism.

Sam:
That sounds healthy.

Dean:
Well, it works for me.


Sam:
That anatomy dummy you were molesting at the lab.

Dean:
Excuse me?

Sam:
What if that’s what this is about?

Dean:
What exactly are you accusing me of?


(Ben tricked Dean and Lisa into talking)

Ben:
Um…

Dean and Lisa:
(in unison) Go to your room.


Lisa:
(to Dean) My phone rings, I think: tiny chance it’s you, big chance it’s Sam calling to tell me you’re died.


Dean:
(before tricking his possessed Impala to crash into a wall) I’m so sorry, baby.


Makeup girl:
Jensen, there you are. Let’s just get you in the chair.

Dean:
The chair?

Makeup girl:
Okay, good. (reaching for a de-makeup wipe) We’re just gonna get this make-up off your face.

Dean:
What? Hey, I’m not wearing any make-… (looking at a dirty wipe in disbelief) Oh crap. I’m a painted whore!


Dean:
They put frickin’ make up on us. Those bastards.

Sam:
Look, I think I know what this is.

Dean:
Okay, what?

Sam:
It’s a TV show.

Dean:
(sarcastic) You think?!

Sam:
Well, I mean, here, wherever this is, thi-this Twilight Zone Balthazar zapped us into… for whatever reason, our life is a TV show.

Dean:
Why?

Sam:
I don’t know.

Dean:
No, seriously, why? Why would anybody wanna watch our lives?

Sam:
Well according to the television reporter, not many people do.


Sam:
I’m just saying we landed in some dimension where you’re Jensen Ackles, and I’m something called a Jared Padalecki.

Dean:
Oh, so what, now you’re Polish?!


Dean:
(upon seeing the many Impalas on the set, some of which are beaten up) I feel sick. I’m gonna be sick.


Dean:
I feel like this whole place is bad touching me.


Dean:
Dear Castiel, who art maybe running his ass away from heaven, we pray that you have your ears on. So…Breaker, breaker.


Dean:
This isn’t Cas.

Sam:
Dude, look at him.

Misha:
You guys wanna run lines, or…?

Dean:
His name is Misha! … Misha?!

Sam:
Oh, wow. (takes Key back from Misha) … Just great.

(Dean and Sam go away)

Dean:
Misha? Jensen? What’s with names around here?


Sam:
(spotting the actor’s trailer) Hey. «J. Ackles.»

Dean:
That’s fake me.

Sam:
Yeah.

Dean:
This must be fake mine. (upon entering the trailer) Dude, I have a helicopter!

Sam:
Wow, alright, who puts a 300-gallon aquarium in their trailer?

Dean:
Apparently Jensen Ackles.

Sam:
(rolling his eyes) Huh.


Sam:
If there’s a key, then there has to be a lock. And when we find the lock, we can get the weapons, and then we can have the weapons. And the lock, we’ll also have the lock, I imagine because we’ve opened it, and of course, the initial key… a-and…

Dean:
(abnormally deep voice) We need to get all three of that crap.

Sam:
What?

Dean:
That’s how he does it!


Bob:
Jared and Jensen were seen beating an extra to death.

Sarah:
Huh.

Jim:
This is Jim here Sarah, and it wasn’t all the way to death. So that’s a plus.


Dean:
(about Raphael) Dude looks like a lady.


Sam:
(hitting a wall in Bobby’s house) Solid. (with relief) It’s real. Nice.

Dean:
Yeah. Yeah, real, moldy, termite-eaten home sweet home. Chock full of crap that want to skin you. Oh, and uh, we’re broke again.

Sam:
(sarcastic) Yeah. But, hey… at least we’re talking.


Eve:
God doesn’t care about you.

Rick:
Sure He does.

Eve:
Your Father made you and then abandoned you. So you pray. You see signs where there’s nothing. But truth is, your Apocalypse came and went, and you didn’t even notice. A mother would never abandon her children like He did. You’ll see.


Dean:
I’m not in the mood. I just had a 12 inch herpe crawl out of my ear!

Sam:
What?

Dean:
You heard me.


Sam:
You saying he wasn’t a monster when I ganked him?

Rufus:
One way to find out. Bobby, you got a cranial saw in the car?

Bobby:
Of course.


Rufus:
I want you and you to watch… Okay, I want you and you to watch him and him and… Alright if anything crawls out of anybodies somebody step on it.


Sam:
What he did to us… but…

Dean:
There’s a but?

Sam:
I just can’t help but think, what would Mom say?

Dean:
You know what I think Mom would say? She’d say, «Just ’cause you’re blood doesn’t make you family. You gotta earn that.»


Rufus:
[to Dean, Sam, Bobby] This can’t be my afterlife because the three of you are here.


Dean:
Hey there, you little herpe.

Sam:
Why do you keep talking about herpes?

Dean:
What? I don’t. Shut up. Shut up!


Dean:
Who is she, this Eve bitch?

Slug:
The Mother of All of us. And the end of all of you. By the time she’s done, there’ll be more creatures than humans. You’ll live in pens. We’ll serve up your young and call it veal.


Bobby:
It was Omaha. It was my fault. And he never let it go.

Dean:
Well, he should have.

Bobby:
You don’t know what I did, Dean.

Dean:
It doesn’t matter.

Bobby:
What do you mean, it doesn’t…?

Dean:
I mean, at the end of the day, you two are family. Life’s short, and ours are shorter than most. We gonna spend it wringing our hands? Something’s going to get us, eventually. And when my guts get ripped out, just so you two know, we’re good. Blanket apology for all the crap that anybody’s done, all the way around.

Sam:
Some of us pulled a lot of crap, Dean.

Dean:
Well, clean slate.

Sam:
Okay.


Bobby:
You two just going to stand there like the ugly girl at the prom, or you gonna pitch in? This so-called Eve mother, whatever, ain’t gonna gank herself.


Dean:
I mean, accidents just don’t happen accidentally. (Sam stares) You know what I mean.


Dean:
Can you tell me anything noteworthy about the Russos?

Shawn Russo:
Noteworthy? No. I mean, not exactly. Average. You know, big, from Italy.

Dean:
I see. Uh, was anyone ever killed or maimed in a war? Or, you know, some other violent thing?

Shawn Russo:
What do you mean?

Dean:
Like something so dark that it would sully future generations.

Shawn Russo:
Uh, no.

Dean:
Good. Good stuff. Anyone own a slave?

Shawn Russo:
What?

Dean:
Routine question. Any ties to the Nazi Party?

Shawn Russo:
Excuse me?

Dean:
Did Grandma ever piss off a gypsy?

Shawn Russo:
Okay. You know what? I don’t know what kind of study you’re doing, but it’s over. Right now.


Sam:
Why?

Balthazar:
Why what?

Dean:
Why did you unsink the ship?

Balthazar:
Because I hated the movie.

Dean:
What movie?

Balthazar:
Exactly.

Sam:
Wait. So you saved a cruise liner because…?

Balthazar:
Because that god-awful Celine Dion song made me want to smite myself.

Sam:
Who’s Celine Dion?

Balthazar:
Oh, she’s a destitute lounge singer somewhere in Quebec, and let’s keep it that way, please.


Sam:
But now those people and their kids and their kids’ kids… they must have interacted with-with so many other people, changed so much crap… you totally butterfly-effected history.

Dean:
Dude, dude, rule one. No Kutcher references.


Balthazar:
Anyway, let’s agree, I did a good thing. One less Billy Zane movie and I saved two of your closest friends.


Balthazar:
Sorry, you have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you. I don’t care.


Dean:
What’d she look like?

Sam:
Kinda like a librarian.

Dean:
Your kind of librarian, or my kind of librarian?

Sam:
Well, she was wearing clothes, if that’s what you mean.


Balthazar:
Uh, sweetie, before we go, I could remove that stick from…

Atropos:
Don’t try me.

Balthazar:
We’ll leave it inserted, then.


Dean:
So… wait, did–did Balthazar really, uh… unravel a sweater over a chick flick?

Castiel:
Yes. Absolutely, that’s what he did.

Dean:
Wow, well, might be time to take away his cable privileges. Besides, Titanic didn’t suck that bad. (Sam stares) Winslet’s rack. (Castiel leaves) Well, I’ll tell you one thing about Cas, he does not appreciate the finer things.


Bobby:
Either of you jokers ever heard anything about a Phoenix?

Dean:
River, Joaquin, or the giant flaming bird?


Dean:
We’ll Star Trek IV this bitch.

Bobby:
I only watched Deep Space Nine.

Dean:
It’s like I don’t even know you guys anymore. Star Trek IV. Save the whales.


Castiel:
You only have 24 hours.

Sam:
What? Why?

Castiel:
Well, the answer to your question can best be expressed as a series of partial differential equations…

Bobby:
Yeah, aim lower.


Sam:
Look, just because you’re obsessed with all that Wild West stuff.

Dean:
No I’m not.

Sam:
You have a fetish.

Dean:
Shut up. I like old movies.

Sam:
You can recite every Clint Eastwood movie ever made, line-for-line.

Bobby:
Even the monkey movies?

Sam:
Yeah. Especially the monkey movies.

Dean:
His name is Clyde.


Bobby:
You goin’ to a hoedown?

Castiel:
Now is it, is it customary to wear a blanket?

Dean:
It’s a serape. And yes, it’s a… never mind, let’s just go.


Sheriff:
So what can I do for you, boys?

Sam:
Uh we’re looking for a man.

Judge Mortimer:
I’ll bet. Nice shirt there.

Dean:
What’s wrong with my shirt?

Judge Mortimer:
You’re very clean.

Dean:
It’s dirtier than it looks.


Dean:
Maybe you got to go find him and make history. I’ll stay here, hook up with the posse. Because you know me. I’m a posse magnet. I mean, I love posse. Make that into a t-shirt.

Sam:
You done?


Dean:
You know what this means?

Bobby:
Yeah, I didn’t get a soul-onoscopy for nothing.


Bobby:
I’m thinkin’ maybe it’s time you made a call.

Dean:
Why’s it always got to be me that makes the call, huh? It’s not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude’s busy. (Castiel appears right behind him) Cas, get out of my ass!

Castiel:
I was never in your… have you made any progress in locating Eve?


Castiel:
I’ll search the town. Give me a moment. (stares off into space)

Dean:
Cas, we can still see you.

Castiel:
Yeah, I’m still here.

Dean:
Okay, you don’t have to wait on us. (Castiel tries again) Well, now it just looks like you’re pooping.


Castiel:
I’m powerless.

Dean:
You’re joking.

Castiel:
Something in this town is, uh… it’s affecting me. I assume it’s Eve.

Dean:
So, wait. Mom’s making you limp?

Castiel:
Figuratively, yes.

Dean:
How?

Castiel:
I don’t know, but she is.

Dean:
Oh, well, that’s great, ’cause without your power, you’re basically just a baby in a trench coat. (Castiel looks away)

Sam:
I think you hurt his feelings.


Castiel:
I’m fairly unpracticed with firearms.

Dean:
You know who whines? Babies.


Dean:
The question is why? What does she want with a… what do you call these?

Bobby:
Well, congrats, you discovered it, you get to name it.

Dean:
«Jefferson Starships.» Huh? Because they’re horrible, and hard to kill.

Sam:
It looks like the entire bar has been turned into these-

Dean:
Jefferson Starships.

Sam:
Fine. But why are all… the Starships dead?


Bobby:
They won’t take long.

Castiel:
You don’t know that. They may find more wayward orphans along the way.

Bobby:
Oh, don’t get cute.

Castiel:
Right. Pardon me for highlighting their crippling and dangerous empathetic response with «sarcasm.» It’s a bad idea letting them go.

Bobby:
Come on. You don’t let Sam and Dean Winchester do squat. They do what they gotta, you know that.


Dean:
There’s one way to draw her out. Me and Sam will go in.

Bobby:
Dean!

Dean:
Look, if we don’t get a shot off you two better.

Bobby:
That’s the plan?

Dean:
Yeah. Pretty much.

Bobby:
Well, at least it ain’t complicated.


Dean:
Is there anybody in this diner that is not a flesh-eating monster?

Sam:
Uh, me and you.


Eve:
Relax. I’m not here to fight.

Dean:
No. Just to rally every freak on the planet. Bring in Khan worms and–and half-assed Spidermen. And dragons. Really, sister? Dragons?

Eve:
So I dusted off some of the old classics. I needed help.


Castiel:
I remember being at a shoreline, watching a little grey fish heave itself up on the beach. And an older brother saying, «Don’t step on that fish Castiel, big plans for that fish.» I remember the the Tower of Babel – all 37 feet of it, which I suppose was impressive at the time. And when it fell they howled, «Divine Wrath!» But come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high.


Crowley:
Chocula here feels every tickle.

Castiel:
What is that good for?

Crowley:
Apart from the obvious erotic value, you got me.


Crowley:
You screwed up, Cass. You let the hounds mangle the pheasant, and now I am up to my elbows in it.

Castiel:
What is your point?

Crowley:
My point is, you’re distracted, and that makes me nervous.

Castiel:
I am holding up my end.

Crowley:
Ah yes, but is that all you’re holding, huh? See, the stench of that Impala’s all over your overcoat, angel. I thought we’d agreed, no more nights out with the boys.


Crowley:
Am I the only game piece on the board who doesn’t underestimate those denim-wrapped nightmares?!


Castiel:
God wants you to have freedom.

Rachel:
But what does he want us to do with it?

Castiel:
[narrating] If I knew then what I know now, I might have said; ‘It’s simple. Freedom is a length of rope, God wants you to hang yourself with it.’ Those first weeks back in Heaven were surprisingly difficult. Explaining freedom to angels is a bit like teaching poetry to fish.


Castiel:
Whose Heaven is this?

Raphael:
Ken Lay’s. I’m borrowing it.

Castiel:
I still question his admittance here.

Raphael:
He’s devout. Trumps everything.


Raphael:
Do I look like I’m joking?

Castiel:
You never look like you’re joking.


Cas:
(referring to freeing Lucifer and Michael) Then I won’t let you

Raphael:
Really? You? (holds up one hand and a flash of light appears. Cas is shown on the ground coughing up blood)

Cas:
(narrating) I’m not ashamed to say that my big brother knocked me into next week.

Raphael:
Tomorrow you kneel, Castiel, or you and anyone with you dies.


Crowley:
The problem with the old place was most of the inmates were masochists already. A lot of «thank you sir, can I have another hot poker up the jacksy?»


Crowley:
Just look at them. No one likes waiting in line.

Castiel:
What happens when they reach the front?

Crowley:
Nothing. They get right back to the end again. That’s efficiency.


Castiel:
What can I do besides submit or die?

Crowley:
Submit or die? What are you, French?


Dean:
You know who spies on people, Cas? Spies.


Castiel:
If you touch the Winchesters…

Crowley:
Please. I heard you the first time. I promise — nary a hair on their artfully tousled heads. Besides, I think they’ve proven my point for me. It’s always your friends, isn’t it, in the end? We try to change. We try to improve ourselves. It’s always our friends who got to claw into our sides and-and hold us back. But you know what I see here? The new God [pointing at Castiel] and the new Devil, working together.

Castiel:
Enough! Stop talking. And get out of my sight.

Crowley:
Well… Glad I came. You’re welcome, by the way. You know the difference between you and me? I know what I am. What are you, Castiel? What exactly are you willing to do?


Castiel:
You’re the one who taught me that freedom and free will…

Dean:
You’re a freaking child, you know that? Just because you can do what you want, doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want.


Crowley:
Castiel you got what they call ‘sex appeal’

Castiel:
Thank you


Bobby:
Our pal, Cas, didn’t stop in last night just to mend fences.

Dean:
What did he do?

Bobby:
Stole something.

Dean:
What?

Bobby:
The journal of one Moishe Campbell.

Sam:
Moishe?

Bobby:
Of the New York Campbells.

Sam:
Wha- uh… So we gotta get it back. Right?

Bobby:
Or just read the copy I already made. Hi, glad to meet you. Bobby Singer: paranoid bastard.


Dean:
Who’s this Phillips guy?

Bobby:
Phillips ain’t his last name. It’s Lovecraft.

Sam:
H.P. Lovecraft? Let me see that.

Dean:
Am I supposed to know who that is?

Sam:
Horror writer? «At the Mountains of Madness»? «The Call of Cthulu»?

Dean:
Yeah, no I was too busy having sex with women.


Crowley:
God, how long’s it been, Dean? Since my so-called demise, yes?

Dean:
Crowley. Let them go now, or I swear-

Crowley:
Right, right, you’ll rip me a cornucopia of orifices.


Castiel:
You are not to harm them, do you understand me?

Crowley:
You know what? You’re maxed out on putting humans out of bounds.


Dean:
I don’t believe a word that’s coming out of your mouth.

Castiel:
I thought you said that we were like family. Well, I think that too. Shouldn’t trust run both ways?

Dean:
Cas, I just can’t.

Castiel:
Dean, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call. And I am your friend, still, despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats. I just saved you, yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you? All I ask is this one thing.

Dean:
Trust your plan to pop Purgatory?

Castiel:
I’ve earned that Dean.


Balthazar:
I know I’m going to live to regret this, but… I’m officially… on your team. You bastards.

Dean:
And we should believe you why?

Balthazar:
Would you believe I had a shred of decency?

Sam:
No.

Balthazar:
Aww. That hurts. Okay you’re right.


Sam:
Dean, you know you have pulled some shady crap before but this… has got to be the worst. Whitewashing their memories? Take it somebody who knows-

Dean:
You ever mention Lisa or Ben to me again I will break your nose.

Sam:
Dean-

Dean:
(near tears) I’m not kidding.


Bartender:
So, where do we start?

Sam:
Uh, ground floor, corner room, nearest to the fire escape. That’s the one I’d pick, quickest getaway.

Bartender:
And why do you know that?


Castiel:
Rest assured, when this is all over, I will save Sam. But only if you stand down.

Dean:
Save Sam from what? (Cas appears behind Sam and knocks him out with a touch.)


Dean:
I can’t just sit here, Bobby, I have got to help him.

Bobby:
Dean…

Dean:
Dreamscape his noggin, something.

Bobby:
You know what Cas did. The dam inside your brother’s head is gone, and all hell’s spilling loose. We don’t know what’s going on inside there.

Dean:
I don’t care.


Soulless Sam:
My God. Am I really that gawky?


Sam:
This is impossible.

Soulless Sam:
Cold. Try again.

Sam:
I’m a… I’m hallucinating.

Soulless Sam:
Warmer. But see, normally, you’re awake when you’re tripping balls.

Sam:
I’m dreaming?

Soulless Sam:
And someone just won a copy of the home game. We’re inside your grapefruit Sam. Son, you’ve been juiced.

Sam:
I-I don’t remember anything.

Soulless Sam:
Well, your BFF Cas brought the hell-wall tumbling down, and you, pathetic infant that you are, shattered into pieces.

Soulless Sam:
You think I’m bad. Wait ’til you meet the other one.


Balthazar:
Well at least you mudfish finally got the angel-proofing right. (points at Sam) How’s sleeping beauty? You didn’t steal any kisses, I trust.


Castiel:
I’m renegotiating our terms.

Crowley:
Is that so? What terms do you propose?

Castiel:
You get nothing. Not one single soul.

Crowley:
Kind of noticed, it seems a bit unfairly weighted.


Sam:
Hey. HEY!

Tortured Sam:
Oh, hi Sam.

Sam:
So. Which one are you?

Tortured Sam:
Don’t you know? (stands up to show his face, which is harrowed.) I’m the one that remembers Hell.


Tortured Sam:
I wish you hadn’t come, Sam.

Sam:
I had to. I’m here, right? Out there in the real world, I’m at Bobby’s, aren’t I?

Tortured Sam:
How do you know?

Sam:
This whole time, I’ve smelled nothing but Old Spice and whiskey. Figured if I could get back here, back to my body I could, I don’t know, I could snap out of it somehow.

Tortured Sam:
First you have to go through me.

Sam:
Why?

Tortured Sam:
Humpty-dumpty has to put himself back together again before you wake up. And I’m the last piece.

Sam:
Which means I have to know what you know. What happened in the cage?

Tortured Sam:
Trust me. You don’t want to know it.

Sam:
You’re right. But I still have to

Tortured Sam:
Sam, you can’t imagine… Stay here. Go back, find that bartender, go find Jess, but don’t do this. I know you. You’re not strong enough.

Sam:
We’ll just have to see

Tortured Sam:
Why is this so important to you?

Sam:
You know me. You know why. I’m not leaving my brother alone out there.

Tortured Sam:
(picks up a knife and holds it out to Sam) I’m not gonna fight you. But this is your last chance. (Sam takes the knife.) Good luck. You’re gonna need it. (Sam stabs him, absorbing his memories.)


Crowley:
(After the spell fails) Mm-hmm. Maybe I said it wrong.

Castiel:
You said it perfectly. But what you needed was this (holds up real blood jar.)

Crowley:
I see. And we’ve been working with (tastes it) dog blood. Naturally.

Raphael:
Enough of these games, Castiel. Give us the blood.

Crowley:
You… Game’s over. His jar’s empty. So, Castiel, how did your ritual go? Better than ours, I’ll bet.


Castiel:
You can’t imagine what it’s like. They are all inside me, Millions upon millions of souls.

Crowley:
Sounds sexy. Exit stage Crowley. (Crowley disappears)


Castiel:
You’re not my family, Dean. I have no family.


Castiel:
The angel blade won’t work. Because I’m not an angel anymore. I’m your new God. A better one. So you will bow down, and profess your love unto me, your Lord, or I shall destroy you.

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Orestis

Όλα ξεκίνησαν στις 22/04/11 όταν η απόφαση για ένα ήρεμο blog σχετικά με την σειρά Supernatural πήρε σάρκα και οστά. Η συνέχεια γνωστή. Πρωτοπορία σε events σε Αθήνα και Θεσσαλονίκη για τις αγαπημένες μας σειρές και το Supernaturalgreece.gr είναι πλέον γεγονός. Γίναμε χιλιάδες, γίναμε η πιο όμορφη ιντερνετική οικογένεια.

Το 2015 παρευρέθηκα στο συνέδριο της Ρώμης (JIBCON6) γνωρίζοντας από κοντά το cast του Supernatural.

http://supernaturalgreece.gr/
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